“If I knew someone I’m with was having a disabled child, I’d urge her to abort that fucker in a heartbeat.”
I’m disabled. My husband is disabled. My sweet son, just seven years old, is disabled. And here is a man telling me that the three of us, and the many other disabled people I know and love, should not exist purely because we are disabled. Is there something less than human about us? Are we worth less than the non-disabled? Is there something wrong with us, somehow, that makes us less deserving of being here?
I said on the thread I found this particular gem, that I am as pro-abortion as they come. Not just pro-choice, but pro-abortion. I think abortion is a fantastic option available to pregnant people who need or want to end a pregnancy, and I believe any person should be able to abort with freedom and no cost, for whatever reason they see fit, at whatever point in the pregnancy they choose.
That means that, if a pregnant person decides they can’t handle birthing and either parenting a disabled child or losing it at an early age, I fully support their decision to do so. I think there’s a lot to be discussed and debated there – that we need to change the way society views disability so that less people see parenting a disabled child as some sort of death sentence that means they’ll never enjoy life again – but ultimately, it’s up to them.
And that’s exactly what I was thinking when I read this lovely comment. It’s up to them. And it’s disgusting to assume, as an outsider (and even if you’re the foetus’s father you’re an outsider until it’s born), that a person would be better off aborting a foetus that would be born disabled. It shows a lot about the speaker’s opinions on disabled people. That we are less than. That we are worthless.
If I knew someone I was with was pregnant with a disabled child, I’d urge them to make the decision that they felt most comfortable with, and then I’d support them, whatever they chose.
If someone I was with was considering abortion for whatever reason, I think I’d try very hard to avoid influencing their decision in either direction. What I’d most want is for the decision to be 100% theirs and not an attempt to keep me happy or whatever.
I think that all mother’s need support and a mother with a disability, or with a child with a disability, needs more support. I’d like to see society that allows each mother to make her choice based not on what she can cope with, but by her instincts, knowing that no matter what path she chose, she’d be okay.
Okay to have the baby and to find her own child in her own way. Okay to not have the baby and still feel she’s herself.
Abortion is never an easy option. It has costs, and risks, to the mother.
Having a child you know you can love, and have support with raising, is all any mother wants.
And every baby born well and healthy, is one car accident away from being disabled.
If we value life, we value all life, including the life of the mother.
Exactly, Morgan. People need to see a safe and supported future for themselves and their disabled child in order to be making a free choice about parenting. And sometimes, they still won’t want to parent.
this post is fine except that not everyone who can get pregnant is a woman…
You’re absolutely right. I will change the wording. Thank you for pointing this out!
amazing response thank you i’m really surprised by how well you handled this!
I agree with you completely, abortion is not for me and as a disabled person the idea of being “culled” makes the bile rise in my throat but I will fight for your right to make the choice that is best for you.