Crossposted from my LJ from April 27th, 2009.
Today, ladies and gentlemen, I want to talk to you about fat. Specifically I want to talk to you about fat phobia and thin privilege. It’s disturbing to me how many people are unaware or unwilling to believe that fat phobia exists, and how many thin/’average weight’ people are either unaware of or refuse to accept the privileges they have over fat people.
So, what is fat phobia, and what is thin privilege? For a start, the ‘thin’ in ‘thin privilege’ does not mean “size zero”. It means “of ‘normal’ weight”. Some examples: If you can walk into Top Shop, Miss Selfridge or any other high street fashion shop and know their size range includes your clothing size, you have thin privilege. If you can book a flight without fear that other passengers will hope like hell they’re not seated next to you or worse, that you will be refused entry to the flight because of your size, you have thin privilege. If you can happily travel by car or bus or train and know that the seat will be built to accommodate your arse, you have thin privilege. If you can visit your doctor without being constantly berated about losing weight and having every physical malady you suffer attributed to your size and nothing else, you have thin privilege.
Fat phobia is thin privilege in action. Fat phobia is the media’s insistence on sensationalising the ‘obesity epidemic’ and consistently and continuously painting fat people as lazy, unhealthy slobs. Fat phobia is in the general public’s pervasive and misguided belief that fat automatically means unhealthy (I’ll come back to that later). Fat phobia is in the refusal of clothing manufacturers to accommodate fat people when designing clothes, meaning that the majority of us end up spending twice as much in our ‘specialty shops’ as a thin person would on the high street. Fat phobia is in the medical professionals too lazy and indoctrinated to do their jobs, instead sending us away every single time with the instruction that if we lose weight, we will magically no longer be depressed/have CFS/have a broken leg (I’m kidding, sort of, but it really is that bad). Fat phobia is this society, which operates on a fat=bad belief and systematically beats down anybody who dares to disagree.
Many of my thin friends – women especially, women whom I otherwise think of as good, intelligent, progressive women – get massively defensive when I talk about fat phobia and thin privilege. “But skinny people are oppressed toooooooo!” I hear. Yeah, I get it. You went into a shop and ZOMG that top was too short/hung wrong on you. But do you know what? I didn’t even bother going in, because I knew I was four sizes larger than even the largest size they offer. You tell me you know how I feel because that top ‘didn’t fit you right’. We have totally different ideas on what ‘doesn’t fit’ means. To you, it means it didn’t flatter you. To me, it means it didn’t actually cover the intended body part. You were walking along the road and someone shouted that you were too skinny, or told you to put some meat on your bones, or blah blah blah? It is not the same as having the entire world consider you evil, the bane of society, and too stupid to know what’s good for you.
I said I’d come back to fat=unhealthy and how fucking ridiculous that is. I was going to in this paragraph, and then realised that Kate Harding said everything I wanted to say, and far more articulately than I could have hoped. I suggest you go and read her post before you comment with a ridiculous and misguided statement like “Don’t you know there’s an obesity epidemic?” “Don’t you know that fat kills?” “Haven’t you ever heard of Type 2 diabetes?” “Don’t you realize how much money this is going to cost society down the line?” “Won’t someone please think of the children?“
Here in the UK, at this very moment, there are politicians who want to make obese people pay for their NHS treatment. Many of you might well be going “as well they should, fat people bring it all on themselves!” Well quite aside from the fact that as I’ve discussed, fat people are no more unhealthy than thin people, think about it properly for a second. How would you put that into practice? Firstly, would obese people have to pay for all their medical treatment, or just the stuff that could be caused by unhealthy eating/lack of exercise? How would you determine what caused what? Would thin people also be charged for things that could be caused by unhealthy eating/lack of exercise? How about this – how would you determine how ‘fat’ someone had to be before they were required to pay?
BMI, you say? Well quite aside from the fact that the Body Mass Index is a crock of shite, you’d then have a hell of a lot of athletes (many of whom are considered ‘obese’ according to their BMI because of their muscular build) being asked to pay for their NHS treatment. Using the BMI, it’s utterly unpoliceable. The only way to do it would be to go into intimate and personal details or by looking at people. He’s a fattie, make him pay. She looks thin, give it her for free, even though it’s entirely possible her take-away diet is the cause of her heart attack. And aside from all that, the whole point of the NHS is that it is fair and accessible to all. The heroin addict who’s dying of an overdose has exactly the same right to have his life saved as the nun who’s fallen down a ladder. It’s universal health care. If you start making fatties pay, where do you stop? Alcoholics? People who don’t visit a gym three times a week? People who don’t eat their ‘five-a-day’? People who break their leg while skiing or horseriding (after all, you brought it on yourself by participating in a dangerous sport!)?
Of course some fat people are unhealthy. Some thin people are unheallthy too. It really chaps my hide that fat people are immediately considered unhealthy when I, all sixteen-and-a-half gloriously wobbly stone of me, eat better and am more active than every single thin/’normal weight’ person I know. A thin person who eats nothing but greasy take-away is still considered ‘healthy’ because of their thinness, as long as they don’t divulge their earing habits. But the thin person is thin! so people/doctors generally won’t bother asking about their eating habits because they don’t think they need to! I on the other hand, on my home-cooked, all-vegetarian, low-fat, high-fibre diet, am not only questioned but disbelieved when I explain my eating habits. You can almost see their thoughts behind her eyes. “If she really ate that healthily, she wouldn’t be fat. She must be stuffing her face with crap and too embarrassed to admit it.”
And you know what? I shouldn’t have to explain my eating habits to anyone. I shouldn’t have to feel like, in fact, know that, people immediately put me in the category of ‘unfit’ and ‘unhealthy’ just by looking at me. I shouldn’t have to put up with total strangers and ‘well-meaning’ friends and family members offering unsolicited advice on how I can make myself small enough to fit into their version of ‘healthy/attractive’. I shouldn’t be expected to starve myself and make myself miserable in an attempt to shrink myself that will not work before a doctor will take me seriously and give me the treatment I need. In short, I should not be treated as subhuman simply because my size doesn’t please people.
And you thin people? Yes you, and you, and you over there thinking “but I’m not thin, I have a bit of a belly and I want to lose ten pounds!”? A lot of the time you are part of the problem. I’ve written before about listening to people go on about their weight, and admittedly I was in a shocking mood when I wrote it. But the sentiment remains the same. When you say “I’m so fat” or “I feel fat”, the unspoken ending to that sentence is “…and that’s a bad thing.” And by implying that fat is a bad thing, you are insulting me.
I don’t care how many times you tell me “But I don’t mean you!” or “But you’re not that fat!” or even “It’s fine for other people but I’d feel better if I was thinner!” – you are being fucking offensive. By implying that fat is a bad thing – even the tiny amount you have on your skinny ass – by saying fat is bad you are saying there is something wrong with being fat, and if you are saying there is something wrong with being fat you are saying there is something wrong with fat people, and if you are saying there is something wrong with fat people you are saying there is something wrong with me. However you try to paint it, every time you moan about how ‘fat’ you are, it is a personal insult because of all those unspoken implications which you’ll tell me you don’t mean but they are there.
Want to know how you, thin or ‘average-weight’ person (yes you, in the corner still muttering about those ten extra pounds, I mean you), can be an ally to fat people? Stop moaning about being fat. If you want to exercise and eat well, then that’s a really good thing and I’m happy for you that you want to be healthy. But don’t make it about fat. Don’t talk about how so-and-so has put on weight. Don’t listen to people who gossip about other people’s weight. Stop telling fat people that you know just how they feel unless you are or have been a fat person. You don’t. I know you think you do, but you can’t and you don’t. Stop seeing fat as the ultimate evil. Stop saying “oh, I can’t eat that, I’m on a diet.” Diets don’t work! No, not even if you call them ‘lifestyle changes’! By going on a diet when you’re of average size, you’re perpetuating the fat=bad belief, and (here I go again) being personally insulting. Stop talking about the ‘eeeevil obesity epidemic!!!1!’, stop blindly believing what you’ve been spoon-fed about obesity and health.
Most importantly, stop shaming fat people. Seriously, if shaming us made us thin, there wouldn’t be a single fat person left in the world. That means not offering fat people advice on ‘how to lose weight’, especially unsolicited advice. It means not talking as if being fat is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you. It means not poking your fourteen-year-old niece in the belly and telling her she’s filling out. It means not behaving and talking like a privileged asshole when you’re talking about weight, be it your own or someone else’s.
With a bit of common sense and intelligence, we could erase fat phobia entirely. It starts with me. It starts with you. It starts with everybody who gives a shit about truth and dignity. It starts with every person who is willing to take a stand, to call people out on their fat jokes, to question the status quo, to stand up to their doctor when he or she starts spouting untruths about obesity and health, to accept their weight and stop seeing fat as the enemy. It’s not. Hatred is the enemy, misinformation is the enemy, the media with its obsession with flat bellies and non-existent arses is the enemy. Say it with me. Fat is not the enemy. Fat is not the enemy. Fat is not the enemy, and I for one will not treat it as the enemy for one minute longer.
My scepticism about thin privilege is that it is a definition imposed on fat and thin, rather than an observation of the uniqueness of the fat experience.
I find this frustrating.
A lot of what you describe applies to me and I’m fat, even when I was fatter than I am currently.
I fully appreciate that we fat people are under pressure. I fully feel we must put our side of the story and fight so that our rights are not further impinged or lost.
Although they are under threat, I feel uncomfortable with the idea that not being easily able to take part in mindless consumerism counts as some kind of loss, even though I know it can be inconvienient.
I also feel that even when I burned to be slim, I did not envy the anorexic/bulimic slim people who seemed to be more frightened of fat than me, because I was fat, and when you are, you cannot believe it’s a fate worse than death.
I think this article would have been fairly easy to write because yes fat people do envy skinny people and the skinny people do have more benefits but over weight or even obese people don’t seem to realize that we work our asses off for it literally I went to the gym today worked out for two hours burnt 1000 calories did i enjoy it hell no. I have fat phobia and I am going to make myself do it. Women and even men who fit in those designer clothes work for the right to wear them very few people are graced with a fast metabolism. It all comes down to who is willing to work for it and that shows. If you don’t like your body change it, If you’re big and you do more power to you I think confident fat people are beautiful but I could never be one.
I’m a dancer who works out 3 hours a da: 75 at school at at least 2 at home, i run on weekends, swim, and eat around 1500 cal a day which i calculate through myplate on livestrong. honey you are ignorant i work harder than you but i have been told my doctors alike that i can’t be thin, it’s genetics. being fat isn’t a choice and i’m healthier than you’ll ever be but i can’t fit into those pretty little labels you so often take for granted. kindly get over yourself
Eliza, did you actually read the article? You automatically assume that people who are fat don’t exercise. I used to won a couple of ladies fitness studios and work out everyday and be on and off equipment everyday, eat a low carb diet and not eat anything with added sugar. I was fit, healthy and “fat”. I never go below an australian size 14 so don’t go make stupid arse assumptions.
Firstly, Australian size 14 is most definitely not fat, and is easily available in stores. Secondly, it’s not just overweight people who have difficulty finding clothes. Even though I’m a 19-year-old girl, my mother does my clothes shopping. I’ll give her the money and she’ll get me whatever jeans my 13-year-old brother is getting. Why? Because being 163cm tall and weighing 41.5 kg, I wear clothes designed for 10-12 year-old boys (I find that the boys’ section has more neutral colours than the girls’ section), and my brother and I are the same height, weight and clothing size.
I also have small tits, so my options are to (a) buy a bra that doesn’t fit, (b) buy a girls’ training bra that offers zero support, or (c) order online (usually from overseas) and pay extra for P&H, and when I do get bras, I hold onto them because they have to last a long time.
As for the whole “fat people don’t exercise”, I think that’s a load of bullshit, and I know this because my own father lost 30 kg back in 2000 and completely changed his lifestyle (quit smoking, changed his diet), and it’s because of him that I’ve constantly had the work ethic instilled in me about exercising. When I was 14, I was a coxswain and I weighed 38.5 kg I would carry 7.5 kilograms of weights from the squad’s meeting area to the pontoon and into the boat before every competition so we wouldn’t get disqualified for having less than 45 kg in the coxswain area, and I’d be expected to carry it after the race because none of the other coxswains needed that.
I have mad respect for anyone who works hard and exercises, but if you’re eating nothing but crap food and drinking soft drinks and/or alcohol (and yes, excessive amounts of alcohol can and will cause weight gain) all the time, and you’re morbidly obese, then yes, your doctor should be telling you that your lifestyle is unhealthy, and that’s their job. It’s the same as being told to quit smoking. It’s not “fatphobia” or “thin privilege”. It’s a doctor doing their job.
And no, I don’t believe in thin privilege, because no one’s basic human rights are being violated. Cute clothes, doctors not discussing your weight and comfortable aeroplane seats are not basic human rights. The fact that you can afford clothes, doctors’ visits and air travel means that you’re privileged by definition. True privilege to me is defined by class, race, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, mobility and neurology. I’m privileged because I’m white, able-bodied, cisgendered and relatively middle class, but I’m not privileged due to the fact that I’m female, lesbian and autistic.
And if you want people to stop shaming fat people, then people should stop shaming thin people as well. No more accusations of having an eating disorder. No more “she’s not a real woman because she’s a stick”. No more “Look here, I can fit my thumb and second finger around her wrist!!!” And no more tripping people over or kicking them in the legs because “hahaha that person’s legs look like twigs”. It’s humiliating for the person experiencing it, and it’s just as bad as making fun of someone for being overweight.
I take your point about not having to be size zero to have thin privilege Anji, but you don’t have to be very fat to have fattist abuse yelled at you. I’ve been thinner than I am now and had abuse yelled at me when I’ve been a size 16. Now as far as I’m concerned, size 16 is skinny.
And in actual fact, people are already refused medical care on the NHS because of weight, they are often told that they have to lose weight before they can have operations.
“people are already refused medical care on the NHS because of weight, they are often told that they have to lose weight before they can have operations.”
It’s almost as if these fat-phobic doctors and surgeons are concerned that excess weight and body mass will have a negative impact on the success rate of their patients after invasive surgery.
“Researchers from Thomas Jefferson University found that the risk for surgery complications increases relative to the degree of obesity.” (About.com)
“Obesity is commonly considered a surgical risk factor, but the degree of risk has been imprecisely quantified. There is little evidence that excessive body weight in itself should contraindicate general surgery. However, obesity is often associated with abnormal cardiorespiratory function, metabolic function, and hemostasis, which may predispose to morbidity and mortality after surgery.” (Abstract of The risks of surgery in obese patients; from MedPub)
““A severely obese patient can be technically difficult to evaluate prior to surgery,” said Paul Poirier, M.D., Ph.D., lead author of the advisory and associate professor at Université Laval Institut universitaire de cardiologie et de pneumologie Hôpital Laval in Québec, Canada. “For example, severely obese people might feel chest tightness that could be a symptom of their obesity or of an underlying cardiac problem. Doctors need to carefully evaluate severely obese patients before they have surgery.”
Severe obesity describes people with a body mass index (BMI) of 40 or higher. This type of obesity, affecting 3 percent to 4 percent of the population, is associated with health problems that may lead to disability and death.” (From sciencedaily.com)
But, no no no, this is all evidence of FAT PHOBIA, not the reality of having a unhealthy and unsustainable BMI.
How can you possibly count obese people not being able to fit in airline seats an example of “thin privilege”? Airlines have limited space and have specific rules and regulations regarding aisle accessibility and clear emergency pathways. Overweight passengers make abiding by these regs much more difficult and can put other passengers at risk. Furthermore, why would an airline make other passengers uncomfortable by being forced to sit next to someone who cannot fit into the seat and spills over into another persons personal space in an already cramped transportation option?
Fat is not the enemy? Obesity is a serious health problem in America, costing us over a hundred billion dollars a year in medical costs, shortens life spans, breeds chronic secondary health problems and tends to be a familial, generational trend. Fat IS the enemy; and the obesity epidemic kills many people every year, and sets kid on a lifelong path of unhealthy lifestyles.
How is fat NOT the enemy?
Airlines can have some rows with fewer seats. That would make ALL customers more comfortable. How many THIN people are comfortable in airline seats? Why is it the fault of the larger person that the seats are only sized for small people?
If airline cabins were only designed for people 4′ tall or less, would it be fine for those under 4′ to blame taller people for added airline costs to make the cabins fit people up to 6’6″ (or whatever they are) tall?
Are you for real? Do you honestly expect peoples’ bodies to miraculously morph to the size of the human-made seats, instead of seats being made to fit the humans who will sit in them?
Your arguments are based on the ignorance that if people wanted to lose weight, we could. Well, genius, when I was 14 and a BMI of 22, a nutjob doctor put me on a weight loss diet. Ever since then, I’ve struggled to lose weight, because I kept GAINING weight after starting his unsustainable starvation diet. 35 years later, no professional or weight loss advice has helped me stop this upward trend. I now have a BMI well over 40. The more I try to control my weight, the more I gain. I have been trying every day to figure this out for 35 years. So no–and the research shows this is true for the majority of dieters–there is no known way for most people to lose weight.
So until doctors or people more intelligent than them find a way for even 20% of people in any study to lose weight and keep it off, stop assuming it’s possible. You are wrong, and the UK and US governments and doctors are wrong.
“And you know what? I shouldn’t have to explain my eating habits to anyone. I shouldn’t have to feel like, in fact, know that, people immediately put me in the category of ‘unfit’ and ‘unhealthy’ just by looking at me. I shouldn’t have to put up with total strangers and ‘well-meaning’ friends and family members offering unsolicited advice on how I can make myself small enough to fit into their version of ‘healthy/attractive’. I shouldn’t be expected to starve myself and make myself miserable in an attempt to shrink myself that will not work before a doctor will take me seriously and give me the treatment I need. In short, I should not be treated as subhuman simply because my size doesn’t please people.”
Right. Because if you’re not in full support of the right of people to be morbidly obese, you sitting in judgement of people who don’t perfectly conform to impossible standards. There is no middle ground, of course. There are only two extremes that people can possible fall under. No one has legitimate concerns over others health and their long term well being. It’s ONLY a judgmental appraisal of how someone measures up to stick-thin models.
Are you for real?
You’re awesome. You said everything I’ve been wishing I knew how to say. Don’t let trolls get to you. I wish we could be friends. Keep being amazing!
Weight is a life style choice. I can appreaciate the rant on social pressures but it comes down to, thin people live longer, heavier people might have a better quality of life, if food factors into your definition of that. The other choice is a healthy look or beauty that appeals to the opposite sex. As it is true, beauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, and society clearly plays some role in defining that, you can choose to conform or be a deviat.
I wouldn’t belittle the medical reasons to maintain a balance in your lifes choice. Even May West was voluptuous and curvy, not visibly skinny so, certainly there is lattitude in an a healthy body.
i for one agree with every word no matter where i go i am labeled as obese the very word offends me i dont go to a thin person and say hey you need to eat more cause you look ill no its up to them but because iam obese people and gps seem to not be able to help themselves oh look you put even more weight on tut tut you must diet lose that horrible fat i am sub human to the world i am being treated for depression and anxiety cant think why the worlds so wonderful lmao gp turned the said convo around to diet i felt bullied and belittled to see a dietitian how that will help depression i dont know im not depressed over my weight well i wasn’t till i visited him why do they do it why dont they wait till the patients say hey doc i want to lose weight how about some help instead i go in every single time i got a chest infection lose weight i got a broken leg lose weight i have migraines its your weight it used to quite amusing at first now i literally want to cry every time i go because i know whats coming have you been dieting have you done what i asked fuck the diet what about the fact i wanna jump of a bridge oh yeh thats because you obese mmmmm i wish i could make people see how it feels to be judged like an animal because im bigger than average i told him i eat very little not junk either not saying i dont eat chips but its once a week i eat i one meal a day i dont have breakfast dinner or tea but he looked at me and said i dont believe you you wouldn’t be this obese if you hardly ate i kept at him and said well i dont eat much {he said eat even less then you lose weaight hopfully }yeah ill do that not idiots why not just say starve to get thin {he even said get a gastric band then you can eat what you like seriously}.I just pityed him he made me cry i admit that but why do they get away with it where is my rights
sorry to rant but i feel better for it glad im not only one though going through this just wish it would stop
So the problems of your skinny female friends seem such a funny thing to you? “I am a ban of society, no one loves me, kids start crying when see me walking down the road…blah blah blah”.
Do you know that 20 years ago in Russia we had problems getting (any) food, let alone “flattering” outfit?! Can you imagine that water supply system broke down and you are running around your area with a bucket to find an emergency water supply point, stand a long queque, and then drag these buckets to floor 7, because an elevator has been vandalized?! Have you got an experience of NOT getting your salary for months?
Did complete strangers call you names like slut etc not because you’re fat or thin, but just because you’re a WOMAN? Have you ever fought a pack of louts who try to rape you – for the same reason?
This experience make females lose weight and keep it zero size forever (and wake up from nightmares – for years).
Do you still envy me?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT REAL PROBLEMS ARE.
Molested as a child. Beaten by my parents. My mother blamed me for the molestation. I get raped as an adult. Mom says that too is my fault, and talks me out of calling the cops. She says that the cops will only see me as a dirty slut. She convinced me everyone would see me as only a dirty slut. Fast forward to years later, several other traumas during this time, I now have severe agoraphobia. I go no where. I’m severely obese, but I’m also bulimic. I exercise throughout the night while everyone else sleeps because my everything, my entire being, is about decreasing numbers on a scale. What little sleep I get is all vivid nightmares, I wake thrashing, crying, screaming. Sometimes I wake on my feet, I have no recall of the dream then.
I have no envy of you.
I’m too busy trying to keep my family from catching me purging. I’m too busy trying to reduce side-effects so my doctor won’t find out I am still purging. I’m too busy planning fasts, writing out meal plans, planning my days, weeks, etc out in advance. Sometimes I am just too busy carving myself up like a thanksgiving turkey.
So you see, there are fat people out there who have “real” problems too. We’re not all sitting around eating bonbons, bemoaning an envy of “skinny” people. You’re actually not even on the radar for a lot of them. We’re too busy destroying ourselves, being consumed by self-hatred.
Who ever wrote this is a tool! Fifteen years ago the world didn’t have the obesity problime…… Saddly America is the largiest contributor to this problome! With everything we eat being engineered…… are you F~€*ing kidding with this don’t blame me attitude it’s natrual. WTF being even 50lbs over weight is crazy ridiculous. Stop eating processed S€¡¥ & see what happens! Fifty years ago a fat person was crazy crazy rare! Ask anyone who came from an other country how food here is soooooooo diffrent! We let big money corporations not just dictate but design & make our food (notice how I said design & make not grow or cook). If the world wants to stop & get off it’s fat high horse it first must get off it’s fat lazy arse and stand up on the issues that really matter! Don’t just sit & excuse your obeseness by writing up your fat opion…. ie quit eating shyt get off the computer, TV,….whatever that keeps you imobile arse & you too can enjoy the thin privilege! I only enjoy the thin privilege by working at it….. ie self control & being active. I too tend to fluctuate or fluctu-weight that’s normal but blowing up is far far from the human normal!
I agree that it is hard for larger people to find clothing that fits, but by making your point you’re dismissing the problems of thin people out of hand.
I am slim. I try on a pair of jeans and they fall down. Is that any different from you not being able to get them over your knees? In both cases they do not fit. Does the shop offer a bigger size? No. Does the shop offer a smaller size? No. Yet I am told my feelings on the matter are not important because I am naturally slimmer.
All I can see is an article agreeing with the countless teenage girls who believe that being slimmer would make their lives better. I have fibromyalgia, I suffer severe depression and high anxiety with a possibility that I am bi-polar (something that is ignored by my doctors because it’s easier to dismiss than deal with). I am unemployed living in a city with 400 applicants per job listing. My life is not better because I can fit in an airline seat, I still can’t buy clothes that fit me properly, I have days when I feel bloated but I’m not allowed to be uncomfortable about this out of fear of offending someone who is over weight. Since when did my problems become irrelevant because I am slim?
I try on a pair of jeans and they fall down. Is that any different from you not being able to get them over your knees?
Yes. Because most high street clothing shops go down to a size six or even a size four, but few go higher than a 16 (despite that being smaller than the UK average of size 18).
I have fibromyalgia, I suffer severe depression and high anxiety with a possibility that I am bi-polar (something that is ignored by my doctors because it’s easier to dismiss than deal with). I am unemployed living in a city with 400 applicants per job listing. My life is not better because I can fit in an airline seat
Just because you’re oppressed in one way (unemployed, disabled, mentally ill) doesn’t mean you’re not privileged in others. I’m oppressed as a disabled, mental person who is read as a woman, but I’m still white, for example, and am privileged because of my whiteness. I can’t hide my privilege behind my other oppressions.
I still can’t buy clothes that fit me properly
Well that’s kind of reinforcing what I was saying. You can’t buy clothes that fit you properly. They still perform the function that clothes are made to perform – that is, to cover your various body parts. As a fat person, the clothes available on the high street did not perform that function for me. Not being able to find clothes that fit properly is not the same as not being able to buy clothes that fit at all without spending extortionate amounts.
I’m not fat any more. In fact, within the last year I’ve fit the criteria for ‘thin’. I still stand by what I wrote here.
Well-said.
Admittedly, I had to skim the second half of the comments as I have to go to bed sometime *before* the sun comes up… But I just wanted to add my two cents, I guess.
I am, to put it bluntly, “thin” or “average sized”. My mother (and her mother, too) were “average sized” their entire lives, and I was lucky enough to inherit that. My mother regularly exercises, and at 50+ years old, still looks amazing (by this I mean people honestly think she is in her early 40s, it is crazy). So she’s average sized, and healthy (apart from the odd chocolate binge). I, however, am the most unhealthy person on the planet, I think. I eat a lot of junk, I eat a lot of chocolate, and it is very bad for me. Only recently (I’m currently in my mid-20s) did I realise that I need to change my diet and exercise regime because it is Very Very Unhealthy (doctor’s orders!) because I had stupidly gone along with the belief that thin=healthy and therefore I was fine. But I wasn’t. When I was in high school, I would eat properly at home (parents ensured this..) but basically I would eat mcdonalds, chocolate, etc etc, whenever I got the chance. Rarely exercised. I am naturally average sized (though, a bit short) so being unhealthy never made me gain weight, so I never *looked* unhealthy. But I was.
Here’s the weird part – the majority of girls in my class in high school were above-average weight, and teased me relentlessly about being anorexic, accusing me of bullemia etc, always saying “omg you have a *chocolate bar* and a sandwich for lunch and you’re so thin! all I have is this one corn cracker thing..” and I would feel bad for them because food is amazing, I love food, nobody should be ashamed of loving food! Eat what you WANT to eat, as long as you are HEALTHY it doesn’t bloody matter what your dress size is!! So I guess instead of “the one fat kid that gets bullied by all the skinny kids” it was “the one skinny kid that got bullied by all the fat kids”. I think this is why I empathise so much with this post, the commentors, all of you.
Anyway, the reason I wanted to share this with everybody is to tell it from “the other side” aka the ones with the “thin privelage”. I wish I could say, on behalf of all the ignorant skinny b**ches, that I am so sorry for their views, their nasty comments, and their belief that they have the right to pry into your eating habits/lifestyle because you weigh more than they do. What I can say, however, is that I really sympathise with larger women – with men it is not as big a deal (a rant for another day…). But “overweight” (I’m going to use the term “overweight” as “larger than average/what people tend to call fat” for the purposes of clarity and shorter sentences..) women have to go to special shops for clothes!! WHAT!! why?? that’s ridiculous!! I wish, I really wish, there were something I could do. I have always believed that if someone is overweight, quite simply, I don’t care. That’s their business. What do I know? I get on the tram and sit next to a woman that takes up 1 1/2 of the two seats, I can’t assume anything about her. Okay, so I am now a bit squished on the seat. But that’s not her fault. They should make the f**king tram seats bigger! And I don’t know anything about her. I can’t say she is unhealthy, she doesn’t eat well, she should exercise more, etc etc, because that is none of my business. It’s not my place to say, and it would be rude if I did. I have a lot (a LOT) of freckles on my face, and if someone said to me “you know, if you used sunscreen you wouldn’t have freckles” I would want to *physical violence* at them. Maybe I like my freckles! Maybe my partner thinks they are cute. Maybe I wear sunscreen and it just doesn’t help. What do you know, random stranger? I guess I am trying to made a crude parallel here but my very tired brain has probably worded it all wrong >_<
I don't usually comment on posts and I hope I haven't said anything offensive, I do not mean to offend anyone, and I'm really sorry if anything I've said came out a bit wrong :/ I just wanted to voice my support. If I am on an airplane next to an overweight person that is encroaching on my seat (and this has happened to me frequently), I strike up a conversation with them. I ask them what they are flying for, what they do for a living, swap recipes for awesome meals (I love food soooo muchhhh!!) etc. or, if they prefer, I leave them be. The only change in my behaviour is if they wish to get past me to go to the restroom, I will get out of my seat, to make it easier for them to pass through (I also do this with men because of an unfortunate experience, but that is not important) I never mention anything about their weight. It would never even occur to me to do so. Just as I would not say to a stranger "how dare you be catholic!" or "how dare you be gay!" or "how dare you be from a different country than me!" it is horrible and toxic and people need to GROW UP and look past a person's physical appearance. You don't know their story, so don't try to give them advice. It is unwanted and offensive.
I would like to add, however, a small anecdote from being on a tram which involved an overweight person and some truely awful people;
I was on a packed rush-hour tram but had managed to get a seat (near the door! hooray!) a few stops later a lady got on the tram, and she was overweight. I could tell she had been running (probably to catch the tram) so she was out of breath, and many of the other passengers were looking at her like… like she was some sort of leper? Because she was panting a bit. Let me tell you, when I run for a tram, once I get on I almost pass out from exhaustion (again, I'm super, super unfit) so I felt for her and I was honestly really, really angry at the passengers giving her the "leper" look. I hate that. Before the tram even started moving, I got out of my seat, stood in a way as to block other passengers from taking it, and offered it to her. She seemed a bit confused, I think? But she took the seat and seemed honestly relieved. What bothered me about this was the other passengers. Regardless of the woman's weight, she had *clearly* just been running and was tired out, she could have been the size of a rake and I still would have offered my seat. It only seemed polite. I did it out of kindness for a stranger that was in obvious need of a rest, and it had nothing to do with her weight. But the other passengers…. I could not believe the looks they were giving her! I wanted to shout out "what are you all looking at??!" – but didn't want to embarrass the woman, and it isn't really my place to say.
I just wanted to vent my intense anger at people that engage in and encourage fat-shaming. Shame on them for being so damn shallow.
I believe I've ranted long enough… tl;dr – as an average sized person, I am shocked and apalled at the behaviour of some ignorant people towards "overweight" people… I just wanted to say that there are a few of us "thin" people out there that are completely on your side!!
If you exercise and eat healthy, it doesn’t even matter what weight you are. There are people who complain that they’re fat but then go dive into an icecream Sunday the size of my head and then there are the people who say they’re fat when they eat healthier than me and exercise everyday. Truly, your muscle doesn’t make you fat and whatever extra fat you have on you is for energy when you exercise. Your doing everything possibly right. Dieting and hoping to lose weight wont do a damn thing If you don’t exercise.
Oh and one more thing to comment. When a skinny girl complains they’re fat. Norm it’s because they just ate something extremely unhealthy or that’s how they always eat..just crap food. I used to be 5sizes bigger than I was now and thought people were crazy when they considered themselves fat. Don’t judge to someone when they say this once in a while. You’ve all been to McDonalds once and indulged on a heart attack on a bun meal and thought afterwards wth why did I just eat that. I’m so fat. Everyone feels that way whether they’re “skinny” or “fat”
So don’t judge someone else for saying it once in a while. If they complain all the time and they’re not diagnosed with a serious eating disorder, then go ahead and be upset.
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